When you are confident, everything in life seems easier. Think of times when you have taken a test, played a sport or asked someone out on a date. Think of the times you were confident and then think of the times you were not. I know in my life there has been a huge difference in outcomes depending on my level of confidence.
Some kids have their confidence taken from them everyday at school due to bullies. Most schools have a “No tolerance” position to fighting at school. This means that if you are involved in a fight you will be suspended. It does not matter if you are the good guy or bad guy. I think this is a good policy. But, while this has been great at stopping physical bullying, I believe it has only increased the verbal and mental bullying that occurs.
Which hurts your child more? A black eye or a poor self image and low self esteem. I would argue that bumps and bruises heal much faster than the mental and emotional damage that can be done by being bullied. What do you think?
One of the biggest problems with low self esteem is how it can spread into every area of your life. So how do we keep this from happening. During my time as a martial arts instructor I have attended many seminars on how to deal with bullies and purchased many courses on dealing with bullying. Looking back at them I think they all fell short because they danced around the issue of dealing with the bully.
Recently we have had a bully defense seminar where we teach kids to put the pressure on the bully. Ask the bully if they are challenging them to fight. Most bullies want victims not confrontation. Bullies look for the kids who just take it. Now you may not agree with this message of challenging the bully to fight. I respect your opinion. I only ask that you give your child some plan on dealing with the situation.
Please let me know your thoughts and opinions.
Master Andy
Self Defense against a bully
